I\u2019m still thinking about the Women\u2019s Leadership Forum for a number of reasons, and I don\u2019t expect that to change any time soon. Wondering why? Great, because I\u2019m here to tell you. Yes, you\u2014whatever gender you are or identify with\u2014because what I took away from the Women\u2019s Leadership Forum is not only for women to hear, relate to, or act on.<\/p>\n
I could write pages and pages about all of what I took away from the Forum and what each of those things mean, but ain\u2019t nobody got time for that, not even me. So, I\u2019m going to focus on the concept that I\u2019ve come to realize has penetrated my daily thoughts ever since that empowering Tuesday afternoon at the Seaport World Trade Center.<\/p>\n
Unleash your unapologetic tenacity.\u00a0\u2013The McBride Sisters, Co-Founders of Truv\u00e9e Wines<\/em><\/p>\n The McBride Sister\u2019s notion of being \u201cunapologetically tenacious,\u201d infused with the teachings each and every one of the Forum\u2019s speakers shared, has shaped the way I actively <\/em>think about myself as a woman, and as a woman in business. You may be wondering what the context of \u201cunapologetic tenacity\u201d is, or what exactly that means, so let me sum it up with another McBride Sisters quote: \u201cIf a big old fart gets in your way, go around him, blaze your own trail, and then come back with proof [that you were right].\u201d<\/p>\n In other words it means never starting your sentences in a meeting with \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2014I could be wrong\u2014but\u2014and we don\u2019t have to do this\u2014but\u2026\u201d and ending them with \u201cdoes that make sense?\u201d It means never obstructing a great idea from escaping the confines of your own thoughts for fear of being dismissed. It means exploring your ideas, seeing them through, and refusing to relinquish your determination in the face of rejection, because as a woman you will experience a lot of it.<\/p>\n As a society we have been socialized to believe that women have less to offer than men\u2014that they are less than\u2014and so of course we, as women, start our sentences that way and of course we don\u2019t always share our ideas, even when we know that they\u2019re kickass. But a pledge to unapologetic tenacity is a rejection of that socially constructed norm, a recognition that we too have every right to be unapologetically tenacious, and a stride towards breaking the cycle of socialization. Since recognizing a desire in myself to make a commitment to being unapologetically tenacious two Tuesdays ago, I\u2019ve realized how excessively and needlessly apologetic I actually am. I\u2019ve also realized how excessively apologetic my female co-workers, friends, and family members are, too. Amy Poehler once said \u201cIt takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for.\u201d I\u2019m ready to unlearn, starting with myself, and then working towards influencing change in others.<\/p>\n These past two weeks, I\u2019ve actively worked on changing the way that I outwardly communicate, whether it\u2019s the manner in which I verbally share my ideas or the words I choose to write my emails. I try to avoid the \u201cI could be wrong, but\u201d introduction to an idea. I now actively think to delete the \u201csorrys\u201d in my emails when they are not needed and keep the word \u201cjust\u201d out of my vocabulary altogether because, no, I am NOT \u201cjust<\/em> checking in to see if you\u2019ve had the chance to blah blah,\u201d I AM (definitively) checking in. Almost more importantly, I\u2019m actively working on changing the way I inwardly communicate with myself. Changing \u201cdon\u2019t say that because there\u2019s a chance you\u2019re wrong\u201d to \u201cbe confident in the larger chance that you\u2019re right and know that the smaller chance that you\u2019re wrong won\u2019t kill you; it\u2019s okay to be wrong sometimes,\u201d which leads me to my next point, so eloquently and succinctly expressed by Reshma Saujani as she closed out the Forum:<\/p>\n We\u2019ve socialized our girls to be perfect, and we\u2019ve socialized our boys to be brave.\u00a0\u2013Reshma Saujani, Founder & CEO of Girls Who Code<\/em><\/p>\n As I\u2019ve proved, there is something unacceptably damaging about that truth, which should stir in us a desire to change it. This is the part of the post where I make good on the promise I made in my introduction, claiming that what I took away from the Women\u2019s Leadership Forum is important for everyone. This is where I ask our men to let our women be unapologetically tenacious\u2014not at all in the sense of permission, but rather in the spirit of respect where respect is due. I ask our women to commit to it. And I ask us all to encourage our young girls to commit to it as much as we encourage our young boys to already. I promise that the world will be better for it.<\/p>\n Your turn.<\/p>\n What do you think? I\u2019d love to hear your thoughts\u2014agree? Disagree? Let\u2019s talk about it. As I\u2019ve learned, it\u2019s okay to be wrong.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n